You Can't Sleep Until Noon With The

I Once Truly Believed That If I Had To Stand In Line For Twenty Minutes To Have A Package Gift-wrapped It Actually Gave The Recipient More Pleasure.

Women Speak Because They Wish To Speak, Whereas A Man Speaks Only When Driven To Speak By Something Outside Himself Like, For Instance, He Can't Find Any Clean Socks.

You Can't Sleep Until Noon With The Proper Elan Unless You Have Some Legitimate Reason For Staying Up Until Three (parties Don't Count).

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.

I Feel About Airplanes The Way I Feel About Diets. It Seems To Me That They Are Wonderful Things For Other People To Go On.