That Impresses Me More, Inventin' Electricity.

It Would Be Spiteful To Put A Jellyfish In A Trifle.

It's Not Easy Keeping A Diary. You Have To Be Pretty Committed.

I Know Who I Am. Bloody Hell, I'm Getting Enough Bills For Karl Pilkington So I Hope I Am Him, 'cos If I'm Not, I Have No Idea Who I'm Paying For

They've Found This Spider, In The Jungle. Three Foot Long, It Eats Chicken. Bit Weird, Innit. People Moan Saying That You Shouldn't Lock Animals Up And All The Rest Of It, But To Be Honest I Wish It Was Locked Up. The Idea That It's Roaming In A Jungle... Get It Locked Up.

I'm Really Happy. I Just Don't Choose To Show It.