President Obama Was In India Yesterday Visiting

U.s. Government Has Said They Are Now Going To Go After The Terrorist's Electronic Banking System. You Know What They Should Do? They Should Transfer Bin Laden's Funds To My Bank. They'd Mess Up His Deposits, Screw Up His Statement And Nickel And Dime Him To Death With Service Charges.

Anthony Weiner And His Wife, Huma, Have Given Birth To A Baby Boy. He Posted A Photo Of The New Baby On Twitter, But People Are Afraid To Open It.

According To A New Study, Botox Injections Can Help Back Pain. So You See, That's Why John Kerry Had All That Botox - His Back Was Killing Him From All That Flip-flopping On Issues.

In His Speech President Bush Said We Need To Rebuild Iraq, Provide The People With Jobs, And Give Them Hope. If It Works There Maybe We'll Try It In New Orleans.

If You Think Of Life As Like A Big Pie, You Can Try To Hold The Whole Pie And Kill Yourself Trying To Keep It, Or You Can Slice It Up And Give Some To The People Around You, And You Still Have Plenty Left For Yourself.