It Really Bothers Me When Some People

Comics Just Don't Retire. They Either Die Young Or They Go To 100.

My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell Jokes That I Think The Person I'm Making Them About Can Laugh At, To Go Home And Tell Their Family, Oh, My Gosh.

My Life And My Career Have Been A Series Of Happy And Not So Happy Accidents.

I Think Jersey Stands Alone, And Because I'm From Jersey, I Never Make Fun Of Where People Are From. I'll Make Fun Of What They Look Like, But I'll Never Make Fun Of Where They Are From. Jersey Is Special.

The Good Thing About A Jail Show Is Nobody Gets Up And Walks Out.