I Used To Go Out With Actresses

If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.

My Whole Life Is A Movie. It's Just That There Are No Dissolves. I Have To Live Every Agonizing Moment Of It. My Life Needs Editing.

A Conservative Doesn't Want Anything To Happen For The First Time; A Liberal Feels It Should Happen, But Not Now.

This Matter Of Two Sides To Every Question Is Bad Logic And Bad Practice: Sometimes There Are No Sides; Sometimes There Are A Hundred.

I Found People Looked Better When They Laughed