I Only Do A Show When There's

A Movie Is Kind Of Like Being The Captain Of A Ship, Which Is Nice, But When I Perform By Myself It's Just Surfing On The Water And Nobody Really Knows What Happens.

You'll Fold Faster Than Superman On Laundry Day

Ever Noticed That No Matter What Happens In One Day, It Exactly Fits In The Newspaper?

Well, All Comedy Starts With Anger. You Get Angry, And Its Never For A Good Reason, Right? You Know Its Not A Good Reason. And Then You Try And Work It From There.

Why Is It Illegal To Park In A Handicapped Parking Space But Okay To Go The Bathroom In A Handicapped Stall?