I Know What I Wish Ralph Nader

I'm Tired Of All This Nonsense About Beauty Being Skin Deep. That's Deep Enough. What Do You Want, An Adorable Pancreas?

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.

If You Can Keep Your Head When All About You Are Losing Theirs, It's Just Possible You Haven't Grasped The Situation.

When The Grandmothers Of Today Hear The Word 'chippendales,' They Don't Necessarily Think Of Chairs.

Confronted By An Absolutely Infuriating Review, It Is Sometimes Helpful For The Victim To Do A Little Personal Research On The Critic. Is There Any Truth To The Rumor That He Had No Formal Education Beyond The Age Of Eleven? In Any Event, Is He Able To Construct A Simple English Sentence? Do His Participles Dangle? When Moved To Lyricism, Does He Write "i Had A Fun Time"? Was He Ever Arrested For Burglary? I Don't Know That You Will Prove Anything This Way, But It Is Perfectly Harmless And Quite Soothing.