You Live By The Cake, You Die

If You Surround Yourself With A Bunch Of Guys Who No Mas Se Quieren Puro Pari And Are Like, "aaah, Let's Go Get Some Chicks." Guess What? That's Going To Slow You Down And Keep Your Head Somewhere Else.

As A Comedian, Especially One That Works As Much As I Do, There Is A Lot Of Sacrifice. People Don't See That I'm Away From My Family 46 Weeks Out Of The Year. I Miss All The Birthdays And Anniversaries And Holidays.

Some People Can Handle Alcohol. You Know Who You Are. Some People Can't Handle Alcohol. The Police Know Who You Are.

I Found That Laughter Was A Form Of Acceptance, And I Really Enjoyed That And I Just - I Crave It.

Early On When I Started Talking About My Weight, It Was Self-deprecating; Everything Was A Joke.