You Know Me, I Love Lost Causes.

People Tell Me There Are A Lot Of Guys Like Me, Which Doesn't Explain Why I'm Lonely.

Bush Is The Face On The Can. But Who Canned That Soup?

The Fact Is That You Can't Have A Good Relationship With A Girl Who Hasn't Settled Things With Her Father.

Every Time The Russians Throw An American In Jail, The Committee Throws An American In Jail To Get Even.

I've Arranged With My Executor To Be Buried In Chicago. Because When I Die, I Want To Still Remain Active Politically.