You Know, I Want To Teach, But

I Was Watching The Animal Planet. Did You Know That The Male Seahorse Has The Baby? Why Don't They Just Call That One The Female?

I Think I Grew Up With The Idea That God Was A Punishing Being, Constructed Around Rules.

There Is This False Perception That Comedians Can Never Be Serious. It's Like From Like The Era Of Court Jesters.

What Was The Idea Behind Hot Pockets? Was There A Marketing Meeting Somewhere, 'hey I Got An Idea: How About We Take A Pop-tart And Fill It With Really Nasty Meat? You Could Cook It In A Sleeve Thing, And You Could Dunk It In The Toilet.'

As A Dad, You Are The Vice President Of The Executive Branch Of Parenting. It Doesn't Matter What Your Personality Is Like, You Will Always Be Al Gore To Your Wife's Bill Clinton. She Feels The Pain And You Are The Annoying Nerd Telling Them To Turn Off The Lights.