Wives Are People Who Feel They Don't

Clowns Work As Well As Aspirin, But Twice As Fast.

No, Groucho Is Not My Real Name. I Am Breaking It In For A Friend. I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception. I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It. I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

The Alps Are A Simple Folk, Living On A Diet Of Old Shoes. And The Lord Alps Those Who Alp Themselves.

Each Morning When I Open My Eyes I Say To Myself: I, Not Events, Have The Power To Make Me Happy Or Unhappy Today.

I've Been Looking For A Girl Like You - Not You, But A Girl Like You.