Why Do I Hate People? Who Else

For Men Who Want To Flee Family Man America And Never Come Back, There Is A Guaranteed Solution: Homosexuality Is The New French Foreign Legion.

Never Look On The Bright Side. The Glare Is Blinding.

We Want A President Who Is As Much Like An American Tourist As Possible. Someone With The Same Goofy Grin, The Same Innocent Intentions, The Same Naive Trust; A President With No Conception Of Foreign Policy And No Discernible Connection To The U.s. Government, Whose Nice Guyism Will Narrow The Gap Between The U.s. And Us Until Nobody Can Tell The Difference.

Learn To Spot And Avoid "writer Groupies." The Writer's Self-sufficiency And Our Love For Our Work Tend To Attract Insecure People Who Never Can Get Enough Love. They Grow Jealous Of Our Work And Come To Regard It As A Rival. These People Can Destroy You, So Kick Them Out Of Your Life Or Don't Admit Them In The First Place.

Real Feminism Is Spinsterhood. It's Time America Admitted That Old Maids Give All Women A Good Name.