When I Play Poker, I Don't Like

The Hardest Diet I Was Ever On Was The One When I Was Fat. You Can Only Wear Fat Clothes, You Don't Feel Good, Your Sex Life Gets Damaged, You Don't Have Energy For Anything. It's Horrible.

There Is No Such Thing As Too Much Fun. People Need To Know It Is O.k. To Tell Jokes And Be Happy.

And For You Kids Watching At Home, Remember, The Less Homework You Do And The Closer You Sit To The Tv, The More Points You Get.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

I Loved The Old Stories In National Lampoon, Like The Original Story The Movie Vacation Was Based On. I Used To Laugh At Them Until I Cried.