"what Did You Do?" I Scream. "you

All I Want Is To Become Someone New. In This Case, Tobias Johnson, Son Of Evelyn Johnson. Tobias Johnson May Have Lived A Dull And Empty Life, But He Is At Least A Whole Person, Not This Fragment Of A Person That I Am, Too Damaged By Pain To Become Anything Useful.

For God's Sake, Stiff," He Says. "you Don't Have To Follow Me," I Say Staring At The Maze Of Bars Above Me. I Shove My Foot Onto The Place Where Two Bars Cross And Push Myself Up, Grabbing Another Bar In The Process. I Sway For A Second, My Heart Beating So Hard I Can't Feel Anything Else. Every Thought I Have Condenses Into That Heartbeat, Moving At The Same Rhythm. "yes, I Do," He Says.

You Were Afraid Of Shooting People?" "no," I Say. "i Was Afraid Of My Considerable Capacity To Kill." How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Inside Of Them?

You Can't Be Fearless, Remember? Because You Still Care About Things. About Your Life.

Suicide To Them Is An Act Of Selfishness. Someone Who Is Truly Selfless Does Not Think Of Himself Often Enough To Desire Death.