Were There No Fools, There Would Be

They're Like ''you're An Alcoholic.'' I Go ''no, I'm Not.'' And Then-apparently That's What Alcoholics Say Too, You Know?

All My Life's About Is Cracking Up People And Them Cracking Me Up And Trying Not To Think About Dying. That Doesn't Cost Very Much Money.

I'm Happy Doing Stand-up, But I'll Probably Do A Television Show Eventually. If Not, I'll Delve Into This Internet World And Decide Best How To Harness It. What I Like Best About It Is The Independent Movie Style And The Ability To Just Be Completely Reckless Within That World. I Like That A Lot. I Just Have To Acquaint Myself With Technology.

Actually, With Those Dirty Movies, I Find Like, They're Good For About Fifteen, Twenty Minutes. I'm Really Interested. And, Then, Uh, There's One Point, That All Of A Sudden I'm Bored. You Know? I Just Lose Interest Completely And I Feel Deeply Ashamed.

Stand-up Has The Best Writers, Because It's The Hardest Writing By A Million Miles.