Welcome To The 77th And Last Oscars.

It's Easier To Get On Show Business, The Hard Part Is To Maintain. Nobody Stays Famous Forever.

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

I Was At Michael Jackson's House, And This Kid Runs Out, 'wait, Save Me!'

My Movies Are Okay, But They're Not My Specials.

You Won’t Be Able To Take Your Eyes Off The Next Four Presenters: Salma Hayek And Penelope Cruz.