Usually I'm Too Tired To Apologize.

This Is What I've Been Waiting For My Whole Life. A President Who's Not Afraid To Tell The Truth About Being A Lying A**hole.

This Is The Thing I've Never Understood: If Someone Is Going To Hell For Being Gay Or Being A Jew Or A Muslim Or Having An Abortion, Then What Are You Worried About? You Don't Need To Try And Convert These People Or Try And Save Them. If You Really Believe In Your Religion, These People Are Already Doomed, So Stop Worrying About Them.

That's The Funny Thing About Religion: It Doesn't Matter What You Say, You're Going To Upset Someone.

The Only Thing Dumber Than A Democrat Or A Republican Is When Those Pricks Work Together. You See, In Our Two-party System, The Democrats Are The Party Of No Ideas And The Republicans Are The Party Of Bad Ideas. It Usually Goes Something Like This. A Republican Will Stand Up In Congress And Say, 'i've Got A Really Bad Idea.' And A Democrat Will Immediately Jump To His Feet And Declare, 'and I Can Make It Sh*ttier.'

The Republicans Are The Party Of Bad Ideas. The Democrats Are The Party Of No Ideas.