Two Irishmen Were Passing A Pub -

I Have A Pacemaker In, But It Doesn't Work Very Well, Because Every Time I Fart The Garage Door Opens.

Did You Know You Can Have An Irish Abortion, But There Is A 12 Month Waiting List?

A Man Walks Into A Hospital Feeling Unwell And The Doctor Says: "sorry, You've Only Got Three Minutes To Live." The Man Said: "can You Do Something For Me?" "yes," He Said. "i'll Boil You An Egg."

Most Of My Jokes Are Racist - Usually About The Irish.

I'm Staying In A Lovely Hotel, Dressing Robe Behind The Door, Lovely Fluffy Sheets - Took Me A Half An Hour Getting My Suitcase Closed.