To Give You An Idea How Bad

The White House Says That The Unemployment Rate Is Good News Because It Means More People Are Looking For Jobs. More Good News Like That, And Everyone At The White House Will Be Looking For Jobs.

British Scientists Say They Have Developed A Super Broccoli That Can Help Fight Heart Disease. You Know, If You Want To Fight Heart Disease, Why Don't You Come Up With A Food People Will Actually Eat? Like A Super Glazed Doughnut.

President Bush Listed His Income As $822,000. You Know What John Kerry Calls Someone Who Earns $822,000? Not Even Worth Dating.

It Really Kind Of Looks Like Now That John Kerry Is On His Way To The Presidential Nomination. The Only Thing That Can Sink John Kerry Now Is An Al Gore Endorsement.

Enron Is Now Officially Out Of The Energy Business. They Are Now In A New Business: Confetti.