They Say Hot Dogs Can Kill You.

Do You Have Any Idea How Cheap Stocks Are? Wall Street Is Now Being Called Wall Mart Street

It Was Reported In The Paper That President Bush Received A 'warm Reception' From The Daytona 500 Drivers. Well Sure, The Drivers Had Never Met Anyone Who Was Sponsored By More Oil Companies Than They Were.

The Republicans Finally Got Some Good News Over The Weekend. The North Koreans Set Off A Nuclear Bomb. Thank God. It Was So Powerful It Knocked The Mark Foley Story Right Off The Front Page. And Knocked Him Off The Page He Was On, Too.

The Car Was The Iphone Of The 20th Century. Kids These Days Don't Have To Drive Anymore. They Just Go There Virtually.

How Many Watched The President's Speech Last Night? [half-hearted Audience Applause] How Many Watched American Idol ? [thundering Applause] Okay, There You Go! You Get The Government You Deserve.