There Must Be A God, Because I

The Most Common Thing That Real Reporters Say To Me Is, "i Wish I Could Say What You Say." What I Don't Understand Is, Why Can't They Say What I Say, Even In Their Own Way? Does That Mean They Want To Be Able To Name Certain Bald Contradictions Or Hypocrisies That Politicians Have?

I Gut Check My Show. I Say, I Say, "gut, Gut, Does That Feel True To You?" And Gut Says, "yes It Does, Stephen. Let's Get A Grilled Cheese Sandwich."

In America, We Know To Ignore Artists If They're Serious In Any Way.

I Would Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine. But It's More Than That. It's An Entire Regime Of Antibiotics And Steroids.

If I Had One Wish, It Would Be For Self-drying Pants. Wait -- No! Unlimited Wishes! How Do I Return These Stupid Pants?!