The Universe Rewards Calculated Risk And Passion

I Thought Eventually I'd Have A Family And I Really Didn't Want To Be A Loser Like That Guy In His 40s Still Shopping His Band's Shitty Demo Tapes Around.

I Don't Really Like Actors. Actors Are Like Terrible Comedians With No Punch Lines. It's All About Them. They Talk About Themselves All The Time. They Bore The Sh - T Out Of You.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

I Think There Is More Comedians Now Than Ever, More Venues Now Than Ever. There Are Stand-ups Who Live In Towns Where They Don't Have Many Comedy Clubs Where They Are Organizing More Comedy Nights In Bars. I Just Think This Is A Fantastic Time For Stand Up.

A Lot Of Times, You Beat A Person Who Beat A Person Who Can Beat You. I Mean, It Doesn't Make Any Sense.