The Saddest Day Of The Year Is

The Best Possible Thing In Baseball Is Winning The World Series. The Second Best Thing Is Losing The World Series.

Baseball Is Like Driving, It's The One Who Gets Home Safely That Counts.

If You Don't Love The Dodgers, There's A Good Chance You May Not Get Into Heaven.

Managing Is Like Holding A Dove In Your Hand. Squeeze Too Hard And You Kill It; Not Hard Enough And It Flies Away.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.