The Key To Happiness Doesn't Lay In

No Matter How Civilized We Are And How Much Society Has Curbed Violent Behavior. Human Beings Still Have The Same Genes They Had 10,000 Years Ago. Our Bodies Are Designed To Have A Certain Amount Of Physical Stress And Violence In Them. We're Designed To Run From Jaguars And Fight To Defend Our Territory.

My Company Is Called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's Because That's What I Think All People Are: Talking Monkeys.

For Many People The Reason Why They're Idiots Is Not Necessarily That Their Brain Doesn't Work Well, It's That They Got In A Terrible Pattern.

If You Can Lie, You Can Act, And If You Can Lie To Crazy Girlfriends, You Can Act Under Pressure.

I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.