The Eyes Are The Window To Where

Ladies Gotta Say No To Their Husbands At The Movies. They Gotta Say: "no, We Are Watching Back-to-back Cancer Movies. And Then This Movie About A Cat."

It's Harder To Make Something Good When You Can't Curse All The Time.

There Are A Couple Of Things I Want To Impart To Ladies Who Want To Be In Comedy: One, You Don’t Have To Be Weird Or Be Quirky To Get Your Job Done. And Two, Comedy Skill Is Not Sexually Transmittable. You Do Not Have To Sleep With A Comedian To Learn What You’re Doing. Male Comedians Will Not Like That Advice, But It Is The Truth.

I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The Mark Twain Prize For American Humor, Mostly Because My Style Is So Typically Austrian.

I Never Get To Go To Movies, Because I'm A Mom.