The Big Rumor Going Around Is, We

That American Taliban Kid Johnny Walker Was Indicted Today. Ten Counts Of Terrorism. He Could Get 5 Life Sentences. In Taliban Terms, That's 360 Virgins.

John Kerry Met With Ralph Nader Last Week. Both Sides Of Every Issue Were Discussed. And Then, Nader Spoke.

They Were Going Crazy In Kansas. People Were Up To 9 P.m. I Think That Was The Greatest Thing To Happen To Kansas Since The Eradication Of The Boll Weevil.

Nancy Pelosi Said That When It Comes To Cleaning Up Government, The Democrats Have Drained The Swamp. The Only Problem With That Is What's Left After You Drain The Swamp: Snakes Everywhere.

There Was Another War-related Casualty Today. The French Were Injured When They Tried To Jump On Our Bandwagon.