Sometimes Its Nice When People You Love

You Say You’re Sick, Huh? Well, It Looks Like You’ve Come Down With A Case Of Bullshit.

I Feel Like If I'm Going To Give You A Book About My Dad, Then I Really Want To Give You My Dad, Because He Is Interesting And He Is Funny And If You're Buying A Book About Him, I Don't Want You To Have To Sit Through Stuff That's Not Him.

People Are Always Trying To Tell You How They Feel. Some Of Them Say It Outright, And Some Of Them, They Tell You With Their Actions. And You Have To Listen. I Don't Know What Will Happen With Your Lady Friend. I Think She's A Nice Person, And I Hope You Get What You Want. But Do Me A Favor: Listen, And Don't Ignore What You Hear.

On My First Driving Lesson “first Things First: A Car Has Five Gears. What Is That Smell?…okay, First Thing Before That First Thing: Farting In A Car That’s Not Moving Makes You An Asshole.

Los Angeles Is Like San Diego's Older, Uglier Sister That Has Herpes.