Self-pity Is Better Than None.

If You Don't Have Wrinkles, You Haven't Laughed Enough.

One [expert] Said, 'always Have A Baby Sitter Who Is Acquainted With Your Children.' If They Were Acquainted With My Children, They Wouldn't Sit!

Once My Husband Said To Me, 'i'm Going To Have Some Coffee. Do You Want Me To Put Some Hot Water On For You?' I Thought That Was The Least He Could Do Considering I Was Giving Birth.

When I Go To The Beach, Even The Tide Won't Come In.

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.