Quiet Down, We Don't Want To Wake

President Bush Announced He Has A Five-point Strategy For Getting Out Of Iraq. Points Six Through 10 Will Be Handled By The Kerry Administration.

Sunday Is The Academy Awards. Every Time An Actor Says, 'i Didn't Expect This,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg Will Do A Shot.

He Has Been Greatly Missed Since His Retirement ... Thank God For Videotapes And Dvds. In This Regard, He Will Always Be Around.

Mayor De Blasio Has Legalized Ferrets. Now You Can Legally Own Ferrets In New York City. I Want To Tell You Something. If I Want To See Anymore Beady-eyed Little Weasels, I'll Just Keep Riding The Subway.

John Boehner - Doesn't He Look Like Every Guy You've Ever Seen At A Hotel Bar? He Looks Like The Kind Of Guy Who Licks His Thumb When He Counts His Money.