President Obama Told The Irish People That

Yesterday Morning Facebook Was Temporarily Offline, Leaving Millions Of Workers Unable To Do Anything Except Their Jobs.

Even Arnold's Adviser Says He Was Shocked By His Decision To Run. I Mean, His People Were Backstage That Night And They Had No Idea. He Totally Fooled Them. Who Knew Arnold Was That Good Of An Actor? If He Had Done That In A Movie, He'd Have An Academy Award By Now.

If Politicians All Told The Truth, We'd Be Out Of Business.

That American Taliban Kid Johnny Walker Was Indicted Today. Ten Counts Of Terrorism. He Could Get 5 Life Sentences. In Taliban Terms, That's 360 Virgins.

At A Press Conference Yesterday Nasa Announced That 2005 Was The Hottest Year On Record. It Is So Hot, And Global Warming Is So Bad, If The Presidential Election Were Held Today, Al Gore Would Still Lose.