New Yorkers Are Stuck In A Gloomy

A Man Begins Cutting His Wisdom Teeth The First Time He Bites Off More Than He Can Chew.

A City Is A Crazy Concrete Jungle Whose People At The End Of Each Day Somehow Make A Small Step Ahead Against Terrible Odds.

A City Is Where You Can Sign A Petition, Boo The Chief Justice, Fish Off A Pier, Gaze At A Hippopotamus, Buy A Flower At The Corner, Or Get A Good Hamburger Or A Bad Girl At 4 A.m. A City Is Where Sirens Make White Streaks Of Sound In The Sky And Foghorns Speak In Dark Grays. San Francisco Is Such A City.

The Trouble With Born-again Christians Is That They Are An Even Bigger Pain The Second Time Around.

You Cover Q-tips With Sandpaper And Ram Them Up Your Nostrils As Far As They Will Go. Then You Sniff Talcum Powder While Shredding Hundred Dollar Bills.