My Forte Is Awkwardness.

Four Years Ago On This Very Day I Tried To Take My Own Life. And I Said, "zach, Do It In Front Of Your Co-workers And End The Misery." I Don't Know How Many Of You Ever Tried To Jump Off Of A Pizza Hut, But You'll Just Get A Sprained Ankle Out Of The Deal. Then You'll Have To Go Back Inside, And Serve Crazy Bread.

I Just Try To Keep Myself A Traditionalist. I Liked Being An Underground Comic Doing My Thing. I Want To Maintain That. I Just Do.

The Other Day, I Got A Henna Tattoo That Says "forever."

I Don't Want To Do An Edgy Show, I Didn't Want Bad Language. I Think Edginess Is The New Hackiness.

I Call My Balls The Bush Twins.