My Father Once Told Me, And It's

My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The Choice To Have Valuable Times With Human Beings That I Care About Instead Of Holing Myself Up Alone To Get My Work Done.

My Mom Told Me She Thinks A Man In The Market Felt Her Up Today. I Asked, Where Did He Touch You? She Said, On My Knee, Bobby.

It's Smart To Marry Your Yoga Teacher So When You Get Divorced You Know How To Go Down On Yourself.

The Nature Of Comedy Is 'just Do It.' But I Think What's Interesting About It Is This Joke Has Been Around And Why. And It's Just Saying What's Wrong And How Wrong Can You Be If You Say It.

If 'what Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger,' How Do You Explain Zombies?