My Fame Is Due To Broadcast Television.

I Am Not An Internet Superstar. I Am, Ironically Perhaps, The Most Old Media Superstar Of All Time. My Fame Is Due To Broadcast Television.

I Had The Pleasure Of Listening To Rickie Lee Jones' Flying Cowboys Album On Audio Cassette, Which Had Just Come Out At That Time Because I Am An Elderly Man.

I Think There Are Very Few Invisible Musical Instrument Players Out There Who Can Claim The Chops And Sheer Perseverance Of Björn Türoque, The World's Perennial Second-place Air Guitar Champion. Whoever This Dan Crane Might Be, He's Captured The Mad, Seductive Spirit Of The Arbitrary Skill Contest Perfectly, And Rocks It Hard Into The Hot Finnish Night. There Is No Number Of Umlauts That Do This Jekyll And Hyde Of Air-rocking Justice.

I Have Learned That Newborn Infants Roll Their Eyes Around And Move Their Heads And Their Arms In Short Jerky Spasms. And If You Homeschool Them, They Will Stay This Way Forever.

We Estimate That There Are Perhaps 20,000 Prehistoric Hunter-gatherers Frozen Up In Those Glaciers. Now, If They Simply Thaw And Wander Around, It's Not A Problem, But If They Find A Leader - A Captain Caveman, If You Will - We'll Be Facing An Even More Serious Problem.