Make Crime Pay. Become A Lawyer.

The More You Read And Observe About This Politics Thing, The More You've Got To Admit That Each Party Is Worse Than The Other.

Golf Is Good For The Soul. You Get So Mad At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

The Theater Is A Great Equalizer: It Is The Only Place Where The Poor Can Look Down On The Rich.

Wine Had Such Ill Effects On Noah's Health That It Was All He Could Do To Live 950 Years. Show Me A Total Abstainer That Ever Lived That Long.

Being A Hero Is About The Shortest-lived Profession On Earth.