It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out

Multi-tasking Is The Ability To Screw Everything Up Simultaneously.

Then There’s The Biggest Problem Of Them All – The Problem Of Being In An Audi Tt When You Are Not Called Angela. I Do Not Know Why It Can Be Driven By Only People Named Angela, But That’s A Fact And There’s Nothing We Can Do About It. If You Have A Tt And You Aren’t Called Angela, You Have The Wrong Car.

Boredom Forces You To Ring People You Haven’t Seen For Eighteen Years And Halfway Through The Conversation You Remember Why You Left It So Long. Boredom Means You Start To Read Not Only Mail-order Catalogues But Also The Advertising Inserts That Fall On The Floor. Boredom Gives You Half A Mind To Get A Gun And Go Berserk In The Local Shopping Centre, And You Know Where This Is Going. Eventually, Boredom Means You Will Take Up Golf.

Hollywood Movies Are Designed For 15-year-old Youths From North Dakota Who, Intellectually Speaking, Are On Equal Terms With A British Zoo Animal.

We Live In The Worst Country In The World. At Least We Do For Lazy, Inefficient, Office-bound Police, Whose Response To An Extraordinary Rise In Violent Crime Is To Order More Speed Cameras.