I'm Playing Like Tarzan-and Scoring Like Jane.

When A Man Retires, His Wife Gets Twice The Husband But Only Half The Income.

After All These Years, It's Still Embarrassing For Me To Play On The American Golf Tour. Like The Time I Asked My Caddie For A Sand Wedge And He Came Back Ten Minutes Later With A Ham On Rye.

The Best Wood In Most Amateurs' Bags Is The Pencil.

Maintain A Childhood Enthusiasm For The Game Of Golf.

A Golf Ball Is Like A Clock. Always Hit It At 6 O'clock And Make It Go Toward 12 O'clock. But Make Sure You're In The Same Time Zone.