I'm Not So Sure It's So Civilized

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.

I Feel About Airplanes The Way I Feel About Diets. It Seems To Me That They Are Wonderful Things For Other People To Go On.

People Only Call You 'my Dear' When They Are Irritated With You.

In The Beginning, We Made The Usual Mistake Of Looking At Houses We Could Afford. I Am Working On A Proposition, Hereafter To Be Known As Kerr's Law, Which States In Essence: All The Houses You Can Afford To Buy Are Depressing.

A Lawyer Is Never Entirely Comfortable With A Friendly Divorce, Anymore Than A Good Mortician Wants To Finish His Job And Then Have The Patient Sit Up On The Table.