I'm Looking For Loopholes.

Remember, A Dead Fish Can Float Downstream, But It Takes A Live One To Swim Upstream.

The Only Thing A Lawyer Won't Question Is The Legitimacy Of His Mother.

My Main Ambition As A Gardener Is To Water My Orange Trees With Gin, Then All I Have To Do Is Squeeze The Juice Into A Glass.

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

I've Been On A 46-year Diet Of Olives And Alcohol. The Latter I Consume. The Former I Save And Use Over Again In More Alcohol. In My Lifetime, I Imagine, I Have Consumed At Least $200,000 Worth Of Whisky.