I'm Liberace Without A Piano.

Comedy Is Exaggerated Realism. It Can Be Stretched To The Almost Ludicrous, But It Must Always Be Believable.

I Wish I Had The Nerve Not To Tip.

Food Was A Constant Topic Of Conversation In Our Household.

The Dining Room In My Old House Was Truly Magnificent, But By Far The Worst Room For Conversation. I'd Get Up From The Table, A Very Long Table, And Somebody Would Always Say, Paul, I Never Got To Talk To You.

When I Said I Didn't Have A Cent, I Didn't. I Used To Get Annoyed With People Who Said They Were Broke When They Had Five Dollars.