I'm Jewish, But I'm Totally Not.

I’ve Always Had Dreams. When I Was Little, I’d Go To Sleep With My Head On My Hands, Which Were In Fists Like I Was Looking Through A Camera. I Felt Like Sleep Was The Movies - Just Drifting Off To The Movies.

I Don't Think Half My Stuff Would Be Funny If The Audience Didn't Feel At Least A Little Bit Safe That It's Not How I Truly Feel.

I Do Know That I Can Take A Punch. I've Been Punched In The Face Three Times. That's, I Think, A Really Important Thing To Know About Yourself. It Helps You In Life. It Helps You Be Brave When You Know You Can Take A Punch. I'm A Lover, Not A Fighter. But, God Bless Me, I Can Take A Punch.

I'm Doing Stuff On Kaballah And Scientology And A Little Bit More Racial Stuff, For Good Measure.

When I Was 9 Or 10 Years Old, My Dad Took Me Over To A Neighboring Farm To Help Get Stuff For The Meal. The Farmer, Vic, Told Me To Look At All The Turkeys And Pick One Out. I Saw A Cute One With A Silly Walk And Cried, 'him!' Before My Pointing Finger Had Even Dropped To My Side, Vic Had Grabbed The Turkey By The Neck And Slit [the Animal's] Throat. Blood And Feathers Went Flying. I Had Sentenced That Turkey To Death! Up Until Then, I Didn't Know Where Meat Came From—and I've Been A Vegetarian Ever Since.