I'm Filthy Rich! It's Good To Be

I Bought My Parents Some Stuff. That Feels Kind Of Good To Be Able To Do That. I Got Them A Place In Florida. I Think I'm Allowed To Say That - I Hope My Dad Doesn't Get Mad At Me. But I Don't Spend Money On Myself. I Don't Like Myself Enough Yet. But The People I Love, I Like Spending The Cash On Them.

A Lot Of Critics Object To What I Do, But I Got Into Comedy To Make People Laugh, And I've Always Worked Hard.

I Grew Up Cursing A Lot. It Felt Natural. My Parents Told Me To Stop.

I'm 31 Now. I Think I'm Beginning To Understand What Life Is, What Romance Is, And What A Relationship Means.

I Sing Seriously To My Mom On The Phone. To Put Her To Sleep, I Have To Sing 'maria' From West Side Story. When I Hear Her Snoring, I Hang Up.