If You Are Not The Lead Dog,

The Only Way That I Could Figure They Could Improve Upon Coca-cola, One Of Life's Most Delightful Elixirs, Which Studies Prove Will Heal The Sick And Occasionally Raise The Dead, Is To Put Bourbon In It.

Sex Hasn't Been The Same Since Women Started Enjoying It.

On A New York Subway You Get Fined For Spitting, But You Can Throw Up For Nothing.

Mama Had An Appreciation Of The Language. She Taught Me A Love Of Words, Of How They Should Be Used And How They Can Fill A Creative Soul With A Passion And Lead To A Life's Work.

There Is Something Wrong When You Wait In Line Thirty Minutes To Get A Hamburger That Was Cooked For Ninety Seconds An Hour Ago.