I Was In The Rotc. Of Course,

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin Pardoned A Turkey, Though She Said She Was Amazed To Find Out That, Besides Being A Bird, Turkey Is Also A Country. Did You See That All Over The Internet Today? While Sarah Palin Was Pardoning A Turkey, Right Behind Her Was A Guy Slaughtering Turkeys. But, See, Like Most Internet Stories, A Little Half-true. Turns Out That, After A Couple Of Minutes Listening To Sarah Palin's Voice, The Turkeys Said 'kill Us Now.'

In His Speech President Bush Said We Need To Rebuild Iraq, Provide The People With Jobs, And Give Them Hope. If It Works There Maybe We'll Try It In New Orleans.

President Obama’s Approval Ratings Are So Low Now, Kenyans Are Accusing Him Of Being Born In The United States.

More And More Facts Coming Out About Osama Bin Laden. You Know, He Never Sleeps In The Same Place Two Nights In A Row, Just Like Clinton.

According To New York Publishers, Bill Clinton Will Get More Money For His Book Than Hillary Clinton Got For Hers. Well, Duh. At Least His Book Has Some Sex In It.