I Was An Angst-y Journal Writing Kid.

I Just Wanted To Compile These Stories About Growing Up With My Father And I Wanted People To Be Able To Enjoy Them Individually, But Also The Entire Book As A Whole.

[the] Majority Of The Girls Working There Had Major Emotional Problems. And Not Cries-too-much Emotional Problems; More Like Stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself Emotional Problems.

On My First Driving Lesson “first Things First: A Car Has Five Gears. What Is That Smell?…okay, First Thing Before That First Thing: Farting In A Car That’s Not Moving Makes You An Asshole.

You Worry Too Much. Eat Some Bacon...what? No, I Got No Idea If It'll Make You Feel Better, I Just Made Too Much Bacon.

Although Kurt Vonnegut May Not Be Considered A Humor Writer, 'breakfast Of Champions' Is One Of The Funniest Books I've Ever Read.