I Was A Thirteen-year-old Boy For Thirty

My Marriage License Reads, 'to Whom It May Concern,'

The Film The Last Temptation Of Christ, No Matter What Its Defenders Say, Was A Slap In The Face To Christians Everywhere.

When I Open A Refrigerator Door And The Light Goes On, I Want To Perform.

There Were Times When I Was Broke, When I Was Down In Florida And I Had To Go To Cocktail Parties For 500 Bucks - To See The Guy That Used To Be In Pictures. I'm Not Ashamed Of That. I've Never Done Anything That I Was Ashamed Of. I've Done A Lot Of Things I Didn't Mean To Do.

I'll Never Make Another Hardy Picture . . . I'm Fed Up With These Dopey, Insipid Parts. How Long Can A Guy Play A Jerk Kid? I'm 27 Years Old. I've Been Divorced Once And Separated From My Second Wife. I Have Two Boys Of My Own. I Spent Almost Two Years In The Army. It's Time Judge Hardy Went Out And Bought Me A Double-breasted Suit.