I Used To Be Indecisive But Now

A Man Walks Into Doctor's Office. "what Seems To Be The Problem?" Asks The Doc. "it's ... Um ... Well ... I Have Five Penises." Replies The Man. "blimey!" Says The Doctor, "how Do Your Trousers Fit?" "like A Glove."

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

Now You Know Those Trick Candles That You Blow Out And A Couple Of Seconds Later They Come Alight Again, Well The Other Day There Was A Fire At The Factory That Makes Them.

So I Said To This Train Driver "i Want To Go To Paris". He Said "eurostar?". I Said "i've Been On Telly But I'm No Dean Martin".

So I Knocked On The Door At This Bed & Breakfast And A Lady Stuck Her Head Out Of The Window And Said: 'what Do You Want', I Said, 'i Want To Stay Here'. She Said, 'well Stay There' And Shut The Window.