I Used To Be Indecisive But Now

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.

Went To The Paper Shop - It Had Blown Away.

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".

My Wife Had A Go At Me Last Night. She Said, Youll Drive Me To My Grave. I Had The Car Out In Thirty Seconds.