I Really Want To Do A Western

I'm A Huge Kevin Youkilis Fan.

"yeah, Well, If You Eat Red Meat, It Stays In Your Colon For Fifteen Years!" Good! I Paid For It; I Want It In My Ass, Okay? I Want Them To Find A Meat Sweater From My Esophagus To My Asshole When They Open Me Up In The End! "this Guy's Covered In Meat! He's Meat-man! He's Meat-tracheotomy-man!"

I Studied Acting In School And Then Of Course Couldn't Get An Acting Job.

I Want You To Take Away The Hope Because That's The Thing That's Killing Me.

I'm Not Saying Being A Comedian Is Brain Surgery, But It Is Definitely - It's Like Being A Carpenter. You Learn How To Make Tables And Chairs. You Have To Have The Right Tools, And You Have To Know How To Put The Thing Together, Right?