I Never Want To Compromise My Act

The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's More Disgusting Than A Guy Who Steals Another Person's Ideas And Tries To Claim Them As His Own.

After This Whole Acting Thing Is Over And Done, You Eventually Have To Be Human. Some People Are Never Human. It's Very Weird.

When A Ball Goes Into A Net It Only Means Something Because We Decided It Means Something. When Somebody Punches Somebody In The Face It Always Means Something.

Stand-up Is Still My Favorite, But The Podcast Is A Close Second. It's So Fun, And It's Given Me The Oppor-tunity To Have Three-hour Conversations With People I Wouldn't Have Otherwise Been Able To Talk To. When I Talked To Maynard Keenan From Tool, I Almost Couldn't Believe It Was Happening.

Sometimes Faggot Is The Right Word. There's A Trend In This Country To Avoid Words: "we Can't Say That One Anymore It's Offensive."