I Met A Real Looker. He Picked

My Mother Drove Back To The Intersection. "who Are You Dating?" "don't Ask," I Said. I Wasn't Dating Anyone. I Was Fornicating With Batman.

When I Was Six Years Old I Sprinkled Sugar On My Head, Convinced Myself It Was Pixie Dust, Wished Myself Invisible, And Walked Into The Boys' Bathroom At School.

Omygod, I Haven’t Got Years. I’ll Have To Hide In The Bat Cave.” “once You Go To The Bat Cave It’s Forever, Babe.” Eeek.

If God Had Wanted Me To Lose Weight He Would Have Made Sure There Was Creamed Spinach For Dessert.

That's One Of The Things I Like About Mary Lou. She's Willing To Believe The Worst About Anyone.